Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Gloria Allred wants Tiger to apologize to jilted porn star

Media glorifies (pardon the pun) certain individuals when the ship hits the fan. Depending on the situation, the same cast shows up like a low budget disaster movie. You know, like Treat Williams films with the little Hispanic chick that's always the pilot. These days if you have a moral problem, Oprah has the advice to fix your sex life, Larry King interviews the perpetrator, Dr.Phil tells you why he did it and Dr. Sanjay Gupta will give us the medical breakdown. All high-profile legal affairs almost always involve Gloria Allred.

When I say affairs, I mean affairs.  She represented Paula Jones after she was jilted by Bill Clinton and now backs a porn star that Tiger didn't mention in his will. This is a woman who has pioneered woman's rights, fought for Holocost survivors, rape victims and pregnant inmates. It is obvious her favorite client is a woman in need of an apology.

Ask John Schmitz about her $10 million suit for calling her a "biatch".  She settled for $20,000 and an apology. She went after Rob Lowe for sexual harassment and sued an airline regarding a nipple ring humiliation. She made Michael Jackson cry and called out the Octomom. Now that Tiger Woods has a lineup of jilted mistresses Gloria has taken the cause of a porn star named Veronica Siwik-Daniels who wasn't on Wood's Poontang "A" list and wants public mention that she did him on the green. Or for the green…we'll see. Gloria is shown comforting Daniels as she cries in a photo. My best description is "boo hoo" - "there there".

I'm no psychologist, but I would would guess that some bully made Gloria's life a living hell with a false accusation leading to her school suspension from 2nd grade. She vowed from her cell to right all wrongs, especially those involving an apology from a wiener crazed celebrity.

Her next case awaits, SeaWorld will be suing Tilikum the whale for posing as Shamu and killing her 40 year-old trainer. SeaWorld would like a formal apology from the Orca.

This Smackum! award goes to Gloria Allred for continuously demanding celebrity apologies!

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