Sunday, March 28, 2010

Drunken Jay Z fan spoons Pittsburgh redneck in search of warmth

I generally have been writing and drawing about celebrities or politicians. I heard about this story and it brought up some funny visuals. I pulled out the sketchbook like the old days. This sketch took about half an hour.

A guy living in Pittsburgh named Frank Fontana was home sleeping in his bed. Unknown to him Michael Karanja Kamau had been attending a Jay Z concert and had a few too many. He broke down two doors and crawled into bed next to Fontana under his leopard print sheets. Being the player that he is, Fontana had been expecting company. He says, "is that you, honey? Feeling a hand on his leg, delay…answer in a deep voice, "no it's not!".  My guess, Fontana's eyeballs resembled dodo eggs for a full 5 seconds.

He jumped out of his bed so hard he broke the floor. In one motion he called the cops, his neighbor and grabbed his baseball bat. After being arrested for trespassing and criminal mischief Kamau said that he was cold. This type of activity is why rednecks hate rap. I doubt Jay Z has lyrics urging his fans to jump in bed with white guys holding aluminum baseball bats. I picture Fontana being spooned by a grinning Kamau while his SUV bounces in his driveway running out of gas.

This Smackum! Award goes to Michael Kanrnja Kamau for being an absolute dumb ass.

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