Sunday, February 7, 2010

10 worst 2010 Super Bowl Commercials

I just watched the New Orleans Saints beat the Colts sitting next to my friend Mark's wife. The game was good but Janelle and I were rating commercials all game long. We were waiting for something to make us laugh or remember. What is strange is that the most compelling commercial was Google's. They told a story with their web browser. Simple.  Here is my list of the top ten worst Super Bowl Commercials 2010. The people responsible for these ads deserve a Smackum!

#10 - E-Trade - The baby talking gag is played out
#9 - Boost Mobile - Bringing out the old Bears with Jim McMahon getting a spray tan in a wheelchair while showing Mike Ditka's ass in a thong is just plain wrong. But as I am describing it I am liking it more.
#8 - Denny's - It's hard to mess up a joke using a chicken. Those birds were really hard to look at, not egg-citing to watch at all…sorry.
#7 - Taco Bell - Charles Barkley and Lamar Odom? Aren't they basketball guys? Man were they stiff. It was like two huge mannequins surrounded by chips and chicks.
#6 - Pop Secret - At least use some hot babes, it's the Super Bowl. This was the ugly out of shape actor's day to work. I doubt having people act like whales will sell more pop corn...actually maybe.
#5 - Doritos - What the hell? A ninja chip thrower kills a guy with a Dorito? What is the message? Doritos will kill you? Kill your friends with our chips? Duck? I don't know.
#4 - Coca Cola - Being nice to Montgomery Burns? That was a very anti-Simpson Simpson's commercial
#3 - Anheiser Busch - The "Lost" ad should have remained lost.
#2 - Dove - The commercial starts with sperm and talks about lotion. Then they showed a guys whole messed up life. Go Dove!
#1 - Dockers - The ugly body underwear commercial was badly timed following the Career Builder commercial with the same theme.

Favorite: Snickers - I didn't know Abe Vigoda was still alive, not to mention tackling Betty White. Excellent!

2nd Favorite: Monster - A musical beaver should be treasured

Zsa Zsa Gabor

A significant celebrity "Smackum!"from the past.

Back in 1989, TV and movie star Zsa Zsa Gabor got stopped by a policeman in Beverly Hills for a traffic violation. Zsa Zsa proceeded to slap Officer Paul Kramer upside his head. She said that Officer Kramer was extremely rude and obnoxious. A documentary film was made titled, "The People vs. Zsa Zsa Gabor.  She was fined $13,000.

Richard Henne vs. Larry King

The "Balloon Boy" incident really puts parenting on the forefront. Let me think how this dinner conversation went. OK Falcon, when I start yelling, hide in the closet.  I'll make the world think you are in this mylar balloon that is held together with duct tape and chewing gum and it is floating into space. Mayumi, you handle the camera. All the rest of you kids pretend Falcon is still in the balloon. We'll get famous. From there I'll get the PR rolling and we'll build a better spaceship than Richard Branson.

As things would unravel, the whole plan was uncovered. Richard Henne wasn't quite in the spotlight, he was more like a pack of fries under the heat light at McDonald's. Things got hot and someone was about to spread salt on the wound. That salt shaker would be in the shape of Larry King on CNN.

Henne tried to coach the un-coachable Falcon. Holding his head in his hands he told him, "If Larry asks you any questions, what ever you do, don't say it was for the show. You got it, DON'T mention us wanting to get on television. Just pretend, cry a little bit. Maybe limp if you have to." No one will find out, you won't get in trouble. Falcon, remembering that his father actually wanted to put him in that crazy contraption ratted him out for a stick of chewing gum.

Larry picked him apart. So in this post "Larry King" is the guest smacker of Balloon Boy's dad, the currently jailed, Richard Henne.
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